Reflections on Things at Hand: PDA Overseas

One of the things that you first pick up when you travel overseas is the fact that interpersonal relationships are, obviously, much more subtle than they are in the U.S. For example, in many parts of the world - both India and the Middle East are great examples - you would be much more likely to see men holding hands or women holding hands than a man and woman holding hands (even if they're married). I remember on one trip to Jordan I had stumbled over to a conference to sign-in (I wasn't supposed to be presenting until the next day, and just wanted to take care of the formalities and figure out where I was scheduled to present - and then head back to my room to sleep because I was exhausted) when suddenly I heard someone calling my name. It was a professor I had been swapping emails with for months, but whom I had never actually met. Apparently he had done some Internet research (oddly, if you do a Google image search I pop up way too often) and knew me. He was very excited to see me and insisted that we go listen to the introductory address. So, in classic Arabic fashion, he grabbed my hand and off we went, hand in hand, for the long walk to the conference venue - I was having visions of that painful picture of former president George W. Bush walking hand in hand with the Saudi ruler - although I had a little better understanding of the culture so it didn't bother me. It's often said that in the Middle East every young woman has three mobile phones - the official one that her parents gave her, the "unofficial" one that she has to chat with her friends, and then the completely unacceptable one that some guy gave her. It's sort of like the post-modern equivalent of passing a note in class with the essential question: "Do you like me? Check yes or no." The story is that guys will walk up and drop the mobile phone in the girl's backpack or purse, and if she accepts it they are dating or at least considering dating. I remember visiting Sultan Qaboos University in Muscat, Oman one time and everything at the university was separated by gender and everyone wore very traditional garb and the boys and girls just passed each other like ghosts - unless you were watching very closely, in which you could pick up the remarkably subtle signs of social exchange and flirting. There is an avenue at the University of Jordan which is referred to as Sinners Street, because that's where the students go to smoke and hold hands. It was not nearly as restrictive in India, especially in a big city like Mumbai, but real obvious displays of public affection were rare. Here's a picture I took at the park next to my old apartment - figured it was OK to post it since it's six years old (grin). I guess it struck me at the time because the kid had a Vikings jersey on - so in some ways very western, but still being very discreet in carving off space to be with his girlfriend.