Yes, you read that correctly, pulling a fire truck. I get dragged into all sorts of odd things, and today was one of the odder ones - and also one of the more pleasant ones. I was asked to participate in an event to raise money for Outright Vermont, a really great organization that supports gay, lesbian, transgendered and questioning youth in Vermont. The goal was to pull a fire truck, from a dead stop, twenty feet. Each team could not have more than twelve members. I was a member of the Champlain Beavers team (Champlain's team name is the Beavers, even though we don't have any sports teams - and we even have a mascot, who I think in this latest incarnation is named Chauncey, and he actually shows up for events occasionally, although, obviously, not for sporting events). In the last couple days I think I was the 10th member added to the team, followed shortly by my good friends Mike "Slice" Kelly (we had to give him a nickname because we already had a Mike - the nickname itself means absolutely nothing and we made it up one night on the fly and it stuck immediately) and Mike Lange (known as "Real Mike" or "Original Mike" or "Star Slayer Mike" [OK, so that's a new one I just made up today, but I think it has potential]), which was good because we definitely needed the bulk. As you might imagine, pulling a fire truck from a complete stop is a bit of a physical challenge. Luckily, Mike had a theory on how to do it (displayed in actions shots as he walked us through the finer points of pulling a large object - and then his utter mystification that people were listening to him). He also brought gloves. The very fact that he brought gloves and understands how to pull heavy objects speaks to my theory that he is actually a serial killer, but that's another blog post. As it turns out we actually did very well, pulling the truck the required distance in 16.3 sectons (our fastest of two pulls - and being the first ones to pull, and then discovering that we had to turn around and do another pull right away was a bit of a shock to the system). We were leading the entire way until a team of big burly fraternity guys from UVM blew our score away (I think their best score was 13.5 seconds, which is a serious beatdown on 16.3 seconds, but we were very proud of our score). I do have to admit that during the competition I did walk over and attempt to bribe the fraternity guys before they pulled - there was some talk of certain young men faking injuries and a concometent two free rounds of adult beverages at a local watering hole - but they put team glory (and personal ethics) before beer and ignored my offer (which shows that fraternities have obviously gone straight downhill since my days in Phi Delta Theta). Right after our pull the Mikes and I had the brilliant idea of jumping in and helping out one of the other teams, which was a local school with several of the pullers being kids - it seemed like a good idea, and was greatly appreciated by the teachers - although it left me seriously winded, and I think I heard a sound much like a guitar string snapping from the area of my groin. Beyond a prize for fasted pull, there were also prizes for most money raised and best costumes. The best costume prize went to Team Gaga, which did have an impressive choreographed entrance. Actually, it was a lot of fun, and it is definitely a good cause. Vermont is just about the most enlightened and tolerant place you could imagine, but there's always work to do. Oh, and I did get a picture of Mike with Star Slayer, the best player on the Vermont Derby Dames roller derby team (they were competing in the event), which is apparently going to instantly become the wallpaper on his computer at school. Star Slayer is Mike's favorite Derby Dame, and I suspect that after the wedding he'll retire from Champlain and work as her manager full-time (although that might keep him out of the serial killer business).
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