Retirement of Bohemian Rhapsody

Before I get around to posting more substantial direct travel stories on this blog once I land in Abu Dhabi (and I actually have a departure date now - 2 September) I should finish up with my local tales of life in Vermont. This one relates to what will undoubtedly go down as my greatest contribution to world intellectual improvement: the official retirement of the execrable Queen song Bohemian Rhapsody. One night at the St. John's Club we were having a deeply philosophical discussion of best and worst songs of all-time, including accepting nominations in the entertaining category of most overrated song of all time. While all of my answers were, of course, the correct ones, I was still impressed/amused by the choices of the other Gentlemen of Excellence in attendance. When discussing overrated songs I threw out my choice of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Now, it may seem like a strange choice, I made it because I remember seeing VH1 or some such silly source naming it the second greatest rock song of all-time. I was not completely serious in my choice, mainly because I don't know if I even would accept it as a rock song, and it certainly wouldn't begin to compare to songs by the Beatles (who are doubtless the most over-rated group of all-time). Still, I passionately defended the choice, mainly because it annoyed my good friend and travelling companion Sandy Zale to no end. Through a process that I'm not sure I remember clearly or could ever explain we determined to decide the fate of Bohemian Rhapsody the only fair way possible: through a dart game. Sandy, through a bit of double knavery worthy of me, immediately chose Mike Lange (the best dart-thrower of the Gentlemen of Excellence) as his partner, leaving me with my great friend Cinse as a partner and defender of all that is holy. That said, Cinse, by her own admission, is not a great dart-thrower - although she makes up for any directional shortcomings with enthusiasm. Somehow, mainly, I suspect, because God was on our side, we played the game of our life and trounced the heavily favored Team America (for some reason Cinse and I had chosen to call our team the Czech Republic). At the very end we had only to throw a double 16 to finish out the game. Cinse, maybe slightly worse for wear, told me with complete sincerity that she could not throw a double 16. I told her not worry about it, and just throw a triple 16 instead - which she proceeded to do on the next throw. So, Bohemian Rhapsody was officially retired and cannot be sung or discussed in polite company again. I can now retire with peace of mind. Sandy, as is his wont, refuses to agree with the utterly fair results of the contest and will toss in lines from the song (such as "it doesn't really matter, to me") at the most inappropriate times, which is why he is continually on probation.