My Year With Proust - Day 335

   I was longing to know exactly what had happened between the Prince and Swann, and to catch the latter if he had not already gone home.  "I don't mind telling you," the Duchess answered me when I spoke to her of this desire, "that I for my part am not over-anxious to see him, because it appears, from what I was told just now at Mme de Saint-Euverte's, that he wants me to make the acquaintance of his wife and daughter before he dies.  God knows I['m terribly distressed that he should be ill, but in the first place I hope it isn't as serious as all that.  And besides, it isn't a valid reason, because other wise it would be really too easy.  A write with no talent would only have to say: 'Vote for me at the Academy because my wife is dying and I wish to give her this last happiness.' There would be no more entertaining if one was obliged to make friends with all the dying.  My coachman might come to me with: 'My daughter is seriously ill, get me an invitation to the Princesse de Parme's.' I adore Charles, and I should hate having to refuse him, and so I prefer to avoid the risk of his asking me.  I hope with all my heart that he isn't dying, as he says, but really, if it has to happen, it wouldn't be the moment for me to make the acquaintance of those two creatures who have deprived me of the most agreeable of my friends for the last fifteen years, and whom he would leave on my hands without my even being able to make of their society to see him, since he would be dead!"

Marcel Proust, Cities of the Plain, pp. 705-706

In one funny line -"There would be no more entertaining if one was obliged to make friends with all the dying." - Proust lets us know how much Mme de Guermantes will miss Swann when he dies.  In the process he provides a scathing rebuke of the Duchess and of her class.  She can't get past the fact that Swann's marriage cost her fifteen "of the most agreeable of my friends."  It also, oddly, reminds me of one of my peculiarities - my stated refusal to tell anyone in advance that I'll be retiring or that I'm dying.  Beyond my well-documented fear to being seen as weak, I'd also hate to ever have a visit to me be required.  I know we're supposed to spend time with colleagues and friends and family members before those big moments, but I'll end up being one of those guys who leaves a stack of stamped envelopes to be mailed on the event of my death.  I will have the last word, which will be pithy yet degenerate (to quote Woody Allen in Manhattan).