My Years With Proust - Day 450

And yet, painful as these scenes came to be, it must be acknowledged that in the early days the genius of the Frenchman of the people instinctively invested Morel with charming forms of simplicity, of apparent candour, even of an independent pride which seemed to be inspired by disinterestedness.  This was not the case, but the advantage of this attitude was all the more of Morel's side in that, whereas the person who is in love is continually forced to return to the charge, to go one better, it is on the other hand easy for the person who is not in love to proceed along a straight line, inflexible and dignified.

Marcel Proust, Cities of the Plain, pp. 1095-1096

A brief, but insightful, commentary on Morel's charms from Proust.  One of the young violinist's chief charms is his "disinterestedness."  Naturally, I'm flashing back to the scene from Swingers where they discuss the essential three day waiting period after you've acquired the digits (or six days if you're truly money).  Proust writes, "This was not the case, but the advantage of this attitude was all the more of Morel's side in that, whereas the person who is in love is continually forced to return to the charge, to go one better, it is on the other hand easy for the person who is not in love to proceed along a straight line, inflexible and dignified."  This brings up the eternal question, which we've discussed before, of whether it is harder to be the lover or the beloved.  In the past I've tended to come down on the side of the beloved, but that may just be the contrarian in me.  I'm suddenly thinking of the Indigo Girls, who responded to the question of whether the glass is half-full or half-empty by pointing out that it doesn't matter because eventually you're going to spill it.  So, I guess the answer is it doesn't matter whether you're the lover or the beloved, you're doomed either way.