Yesterday my University of Cincinnati Bearcats lost a college football game to the dreaded University of Michigan Wolverines. This, in and of itself, is not news; in this case, if Bearcats had bitten Wolverines that would have constituted news. However, before the game there was some gentle smack talk on Twitter between Andy Burkhardt, now a proud employee of said University of Michigan, and yours truly. It went something like this:
@scuddertravel: "What the UC Bearcats will do to Michigan today. [I had posted a link to a Bearcat (actual name Binturong) eating a pumpkin] Clearly, @vonburkhardt, we need some sort do dinosaur themed bet."
@vonburkhardt: "Did you know that a binturong is neither a bear nor a cat? Discuss. What should the bet be?"
@scuddertravel" "That's why it is a perfect fit for UC, which is never good nor terrible."
@vonbuhardt: "Can't wait to win our bet when Michigan crushes Cincinnati" [or something like that, for some reason I can't find the rest of the thread]
@scuddertravel: "The loser, with his own hands, has to make a dinosaur-themed project celebrating the winner crushing the loser." [This is actually fairly close to reality]
Now, my initial thought related to a plastic model of Godzilla that I remember putting together when I was in my early teens. I'm pretty certain I also put together models for Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and the Wolfman (and this is why I love the Psychotronic books by Michael Weldon - I spent my entire childhood watching monster movies). My thinking was: if I could get a hold of my old Godzilla model I could paint it wearing a Michigan jersey and helmet, and then paint UC's logo on the smashed buildings (as if they were dorms), and maybe cut out a picture of a bearcat and place it at the feet of the dinosaur, thus including all of the parts of the bet (dinosaur, wolverine, bearcat, my humiliation). I almost called my father, and the conversation would have been something like this: "Hi, Dad, look, I know you're 80, but would you mind climbing up into the attic and seeing if you can find my old Godzilla model. Yeah, sure, I know. But then could you overnight it to me?"
In the end I didn't end up doing that and instead decided to do the next best thing: walk down the street and ask my friend Mike Kelly's son Sam (who is six) if he would help me make a prototype (which I'm not planning on foisting off as my own work because, well, a bet is a bet, and I'm a man of honor). Sam was happy to help out and we happily sat at his kitchen table and looked at pictures of actual wolverines and bearcats and university logos on the computer. Sam, being a good soul, didn't question the logic of this request, and only requested a McDonald's Oreo McFlurry as payment (which I delivered today).
Oh, and if any one you skeptics don't believe that bearcats really exist, here's one:
See what I mean.
However, all of UC's efforts pale in comparison to Sam's vision:
Someday at my funeral one of the speakers will doubtless say this: "Yes, it's true that Gary never finished his book, mainly because he was busy making a dinosaur-themed diorama. And this is why we loved him."
@scuddertravel: "What the UC Bearcats will do to Michigan today. [I had posted a link to a Bearcat (actual name Binturong) eating a pumpkin] Clearly, @vonburkhardt, we need some sort do dinosaur themed bet."
@vonburkhardt: "Did you know that a binturong is neither a bear nor a cat? Discuss. What should the bet be?"
@scuddertravel" "That's why it is a perfect fit for UC, which is never good nor terrible."
@vonbuhardt: "Can't wait to win our bet when Michigan crushes Cincinnati" [or something like that, for some reason I can't find the rest of the thread]
@scuddertravel: "The loser, with his own hands, has to make a dinosaur-themed project celebrating the winner crushing the loser." [This is actually fairly close to reality]
Now, my initial thought related to a plastic model of Godzilla that I remember putting together when I was in my early teens. I'm pretty certain I also put together models for Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and the Wolfman (and this is why I love the Psychotronic books by Michael Weldon - I spent my entire childhood watching monster movies). My thinking was: if I could get a hold of my old Godzilla model I could paint it wearing a Michigan jersey and helmet, and then paint UC's logo on the smashed buildings (as if they were dorms), and maybe cut out a picture of a bearcat and place it at the feet of the dinosaur, thus including all of the parts of the bet (dinosaur, wolverine, bearcat, my humiliation). I almost called my father, and the conversation would have been something like this: "Hi, Dad, look, I know you're 80, but would you mind climbing up into the attic and seeing if you can find my old Godzilla model. Yeah, sure, I know. But then could you overnight it to me?"
In the end I didn't end up doing that and instead decided to do the next best thing: walk down the street and ask my friend Mike Kelly's son Sam (who is six) if he would help me make a prototype (which I'm not planning on foisting off as my own work because, well, a bet is a bet, and I'm a man of honor). Sam was happy to help out and we happily sat at his kitchen table and looked at pictures of actual wolverines and bearcats and university logos on the computer. Sam, being a good soul, didn't question the logic of this request, and only requested a McDonald's Oreo McFlurry as payment (which I delivered today).
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| I actually owned this thing, except that I think mine had glow in the dark hands and teeth. |
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| Technically, Andy is right, it's not really a bear or a cat, but it's awfully fierce, at least it is once once it's transcribed onto a UC helmet. |
However, all of UC's efforts pale in comparison to Sam's vision:
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| And here is Sam's artwork, which is brilliant. Andy also approves, although he thinks the stupid bearcat in the picture needs more blood on it's head. |
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