My Years With Proust - Day 658

   "As a matter of fact the book I'm reading at the moment talks about that sort of thing," Gilberte said to me.  "It is an old Balzac which I am swotting up so as to be as well-informed as my uncles, La Fille aux Yeux d'Or.  But it is absurd, improbable, nightmarish.  For one thing, I suppose a woman might be kept under surveillance in that way by another woman, but surely not by a man." "You are wrong, I once knew a woman who was loved by a man who in the end literally imprisoned her; she was never allowed to see anybody, she could only go out with trusted servants." "Well, you who are so kind must be horrified at the idea. By the way, we were saying, Robert and I, that you ought to get married.  Your wife would improve your health and you would make her happy." "No, I have too bad a character." "How absurd!" "I mean it.  Besides, I was engaged once.  But I couldn't quite make up my mind to marry the girl - and anyhow she thought better of it herself, because of my undecided and cantankerous character." This was, in fact, the excessively simple light in which I regarded my adventure with Albertine, now that I saw it only from outside.

Marcel Proust, Time Regained, pp. 725-726

I love this exchange between Gilberte and Marcel, where he keeps trying to admit that he's a horrible person, and she's not buying it.  She tells a story, which she finds unbelievable, from a novel: "For one thing, I suppose a woman might be kept under surveillance in that way by another woman, but surely not by a man." "You are wrong, I once knew a woman who was loved by a man who in the end literally imprisoned her; she was never allowed to see anybody, she could only go out with trusted servants."  He is admitting that he imprisoned Albertine, although he's really only making the admission to the reader.  Marcel also shares, "This was, in fact, the excessively simple light in which I regarded my adventure with Albertine, now that I saw it only from outside."  Yes, the relationships always make sense on the far side of their painful/comical/disastrous endings.  I think it's because we can then tie it all up with a narrative which was impossible to impose when you were in the middle of the chaos.