I've previously mentioned that last month the Criterion Channel ran the odd collection of 1980s remakes. Now, with the exception of John Carpenter's remake of The Thing from Another World, all of the 80s versions were pretty bad. I had never watched the remake of D.O.A. before because I had a feeling that it was really bad. As it turns out, it was much worse than really bad, which justifies my earlier wisdom (which I've now clearly lost). It's just absolutely pathetic. I don't know if I can say anything good about it, other than if it hadn't been made then Dennis Quaide would have never met Meg Ryan and then they wouldn't have gotten married and then they wouldn't have cheated on each other and then they wouldn't have gotten divorced and then maybe learned something from the experience - so I guess there's that. Avoid at all cost.

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