Monday, July 7, 2025

Cruel But Fair

 It's time for the preparation to begin for the 13th season of the Twin Peaks Fantasy Football League. In fantasy football you don't normally draft in the inverse order of last year's records (like the NFL does, another example of how socialism only applies to the rich), but instead each league comes up with some odd way of sorting it out. We've settled on Sylvie Maple, Andy and Heidi's daughter, pulling the names out of a hat. It wasn't that long ago that she was a baby who they had to keep focused on pulling out random slips of paper, but now she's old enough to play a roll in creating the artwork and taking pleasure in the misfortune of league members.

Sylvie Maple, the league's Assistant Commissioner, getting too much joy out of Mike Lange's team ending up with the 14th and last draft pick of round one. It's the wretched slot I had last year.

SM's artwork gets more elaborate every year. Hopefully, she will not ever outgrow this chore. I imagine her pulling the names out of a hat from her college dorm room.

Clearly my attempt at a pre-draft cryptid bribe didn't work, as I'm picking 12th.



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