Sunday, October 16, 2016

My Year With Proust - Day 275

. . . But from the irritation which was provoked as a rule pretty rapidly in Mme de Guermantes by people whom she found too submissive, the Duke's mistresses were not exempt.  Presently the Duchess grew tired of them.  As it happened, at that moment too the Duke's liaison with Mme d'Arpajon was drawing to an end.  Another mistress was in the offing.
   No doubt the love which M. de Guermantes had borne each of them in succession would begin one day to make itself felt anew: in the first place this love, in dying, bequeathed them to the household like beautiful marble statues - beautiful to the Duke, become thus in part an artist, because he had loved them and was appreciative now of lines which he would not have appreciated without love - which brought into juxtaposition in the Duchess's drawing-room their forms that had long been inimical, devoured by jealousies and quarrels, and finally reconciled in the peace of friendship; and then this friendship itself was an effect of the love which had made M. de Guermantes observe in those who had been his mistresses virtues which exist in every human being but are perceptible only to the carnal eye, so much so that the ex-mistresses who become "a good friend" who would do anything in the world for one has become a cliche, like the doctor or father who is not a doctor or a father but a friend.  But during a period of transition, the woman whom M. de Guermantes was preparing to abandon bewailed her lot, made scenes, showed herself exacting, appeared indiscreet, became a nuisance.  The Duke would begin to take a dislike to her.  Then Mme de Guermantes had a chance to bring to light the real or imagined defects of a person who annoyed her.  Known to be kind, she would receive the constant telephone calls, the confidences, the tears of the abandoned mistress and make no complaint.  She would laugh at them, first with her husband, then with a few chosen friends.  And imagining that the pity which she showed for the unfortunate woman gave her the right to make fun of her, even to her face, whatever the lady might say, provided it could be included among the attributes of the ridiculous character which the Duke and Duchess had recently fabricated for her, Mme de Guermantes had no hesitation in exchanging glances of ironical connivance with her husband.
Marcel Proust, The Guermantes Way, pp. 500-501

Proust continues to dissect the relationship between the Duke and Duchess Guermantes, especially as it manifested itself in the endless string of mistresses that slid in and out of his bed.  As we've discussed, many of them gave in to his advances because it allowed for access to his wife and on to a more elevated social status.  In turn, she often drafted the women as part of her endless war with her husband.  However, all things, good and bad, come to an end, and the mistresses would either be abandoned altogether, or at best become "a good friend."  The Duke now viewed them in a very different light, but, in a larger sense, he also viewed the world differently.   Proust tells us that the Duke became "thus in part an artist, because he had loved them and was appreciative now of lines which he would not have appreciated without love - which brought into juxtaposition in the Duchess's drawing-room their forms that had long been inimical, devoured by jealousies and quarrels, and finally reconciled in the peace of friendship . . ."  For some reason, although not completely surprisingly, I found myself thinking about two very different songs about the end of a relationship: Chet Baker's Just Friends and Amy Winehouse's Just Friends.   However, getting to that stage is seldom graceful or clean.  Instead, some of the Duke's ex-mistresses "bewailed her lot, made scenes, showed herself exacting, appeared indiscreet, became a nuisance."  We would all like to say that we know of such things only from literature or cinema.  Once again, I find the response of the Mme de Guermantes to all of this drama more interesting than that of her husband.  Just as she in some odd fashion welcomed the arrival of the new mistress because it promoted her own designs, she also, at least initially, eased their fall from grace by listening to their laments and drying their tears - at least in their presence.  As we know, the rules of any relationship, inevitably reached organically, are a constant source of fascination/consternation for outsiders (who, of course, have their own relationships and rules).

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