Journey to the West - for a burger

OK, here is an epic tale of one man's quest for a burger, and the extraordinary obstacles he overcame to stuff his face - and how it all related to the Silk Road and the classic novel Journey to the West - or maybe I'm just making too much of the story. Anyway, it began in western China. Even though the food was extraordinary from the beginning of the trip to the end, there are times when you do crave a cheeseburger - and this was especially true when one of our guides mentioned a Chinese McDonald's copycat fast fast place called Best Food Burger. This put the thought in my head that I'd have to get a Best Food Burger cheeseburger. So, the quest began in the city of Turfan. We were on a CIEE professional development tour and we were learning about the old Silk Road that ran from China all the way to the Mediterranean. Our leader, Yanfeng Li, was also fascinated in the classic Chinese novel, Journey to the West, which has its origins in an actual famous journey of a Buddhist monk who went on a journey along the Silk Road until and down into India to bring back real Buddhist manuscripts. The story was eventually blown up into a wonderful novel, which featured the monk, a character named Pigsy (a name which I've now bestowed upon my nephew Eli) and Monkey (who is a wonderful character who is always getting into trouble - a bit of a trickster - and has to help the monk to make up for his crimes). So, when we'd be bumping along in the bus or sitting down for a beer in the evenings we'd take turns reading passages from the novel - again, it's a professor thing. Anyway, we were in Turfan, which I'll talk more about later, because it was one of the stops along the Silk Road. Yanfeng (my donkey wine brother), my friends Randy and Marcie, and I set out one night to find a Best Food Burger (mainly because I had pestered them into it). However, along the way, Yanfeng spotted this little hot pot place and talked us into eating there, and it was fantastic, but it was the first in a number of obstacles to me getting my burger (and I began to envision myself as the monk in the story) - and turned it around so that Monkey was trying to keep me from getting the burger - and my friends, being nerds like me, were happy to play along as we developed this mythology. So, then the next day we moved on to Urumqi, before the ethnic violence broke out, and I browbeat the entire group into walking across the street to the local Best Food Burger. So, even though they wanted to go someplace nice, they relented in the face of my constant badgering. Well, we make it to the restaurant - which looked exactly like a McDonald's - and I pointed at the sign and said I wanted to have the cheeseburger. The girl behind the counter, who didn't speak much English, said that they didn't have burgers. I replied, "Yes, but, not only is there a burger on this sign, but the name of your establishment is Best Food Burger." She asked the manager to come out, who explained to me that they didn't serve burgers, and had never served burgers, and no Best Food BURGER restaurant had ever served burgers, ever. The others, at this point, gave up and went in search of another restaurant, but my good friend Randy hung around and placated me by eating a chicken sandwich, and fries and ice cream. Once again, Monkey had foiled my planes. So, fast forward a couple more days and we've now moved as far west as Kasgar, which is just about as far west as you can go in China. After an amazing day exploring the old market, which I'll talk more about later, we had a huge meal and we had separated to do some exploring before getting together in the evening for some performance. So, although we were stuffed, I cajoled Randy into going with me to the local Best Food Burger as I continued my quest. We walked in and ordered a burger, and the girl behind the counter asked if I'd rather have a chicken sandwich. I said, no, I'd really prefer a BURGER, and they sadly agreed - and twenty-five minutes later I had my burger. Of course, in the process we were really late to meet the others, but I proudly walked onto the bus with my hard-won cheeseburger - much to the shock and chagrin of the others. The rest of the trip everyone was worried about Monkey's vengenance.