Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Year With Proust - Day 207

   "'But now we really can't keep them waiting any longer, and I've mentioned only one of the two things I wanted to ask you, the less important; the other is more important to me, but I'm afraid you'll never consent. Would it annoy you if we were to call each other tu?'
   'Annoy me?  My dear fellow!  Joy!  Tears of joy!  Undreamed-of happiness!'
   'Thank you so much.  I'll wait for you to start first.  It's such a pleasure to me that you needn't do anything about Mme de Guermantes if you'd rather not.'
   'I can do both.'
   'I say, Robert!  Listen to me a minute,' I said to him later during dinner.  'Oh, it's really too absurd, this conversation in fits and starts.  I can't think now - you remember the lady I was speaking to you about just now.'
   'Yes.'
   'You're quite sure you know who I mean?'
   'Why, what do you take me for, a village idiot?'
   'You wouldn't care to give me her photograph, I suppose?'
   I had meant to ask him only for the loan of it.  But as I was about to speak I was overcome with shyness, feeling that the request was indiscreet, and in order to hide my confusion I formulated it more bluntly and amplified it, as if it had been quite natural.
   'No, I should have to ask her permission first,' was his answer.
   He blushed as he spoke.  I could see that he had a reservation in his mind, that he attributed one to me as well, that he would further my love only partially, subject to certain moral principles, and for this I hated him."
Marcel Proust, The Guermantes Way, pp. 101-102

Proust continues his campaign to get a photograph of Mme de Guermantes, in this directly asking her nephew, and his friend, Robert for his copy.  It opens with Proust asking Robert if they could use the more informal form of you, tu, as a mark of their friendship, which Robert agrees to happily.  However, Proust then follows up shortly thereafter by asking for the photograph, which makes you question the sincerity of his proposal to use the more informal form of tu.  I found myself writing in the margin, "Proust is kind of a jerk."  However, maybe all of us become total jerks when we're in love (queue that recording of When a Man Loves a Woman).  And maybe the best proof of how Proust's love for Mme de Guermantes is shown by the fact that as soon as Robert hesitates, and thus sets limits on their relationship, Proust decides he hates him.  Of course, he doesn't actually hate him, but such is the temperament of Proust, and especially as Proust as a young man.  It's important to keep in mind how young the protagonist was during this time period, both chronologically and emotionally.  It also makes me consider how we expect unconditional acceptance and support from our friends and lovers, but are so infrequently willing to provide the same.


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