Testing in a Testing Age

Last week I wasn't feel well, not terrible, just a little puny (as we'd say in Indiana) and my chest felt a little wonky. In a normal age I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but in this world we live in presently it's not difficult for your thoughts to go to a dark place. I talked to my doctor - my first ever video doctor's appointment - and he was over 99% certain that I didn't have the COVID-19 virus, and told me that he hadn't seen a positive test in over two weeks. Vermont may be the very definition of a #YankeeHellhole, but we're leading in the nation in handling the Coronavirus pandemic. Still, we decided to get a test because the more information we have, both individually and collectively, the better. So, we arranged the test, and it's one of those odd moments in an odd age when you carry out a medical procedure while sitting in your car. The entire process took around ten minutes, and the procedure itself about thirty seconds. It's not nearly as bad as advertised, and far more unpleasant than truly painful. The nurse sticks the long swab all the way up your nose until it essentially comes out at the end of your throat. It was most unpleasant when she pulled it out, although I don't know why. She told me that I'd hear in three or four days. They actually called me the next day and I missed the call, leaving only a message to call them back. Now, the current mythology is that if they call you right away it's because you've tested positive for the virus, so I immediately was worried, less because I'm afraid of being sick but because I thought I might have unwittingly made someone else sick. As it turns out I got someone on the phone right away and she told me that the results were negative, so I'm not sick. Obviously, that was a tremendous relief, and provided a bit of certainty in a terribly uncertain age. It made me feel a lot better in regards to the folks I'd come into contact with, and it also allowed me to get back to the Food Shelf. My friend Kevin and I celebrated the good news by driving down to Middlebury for an A&W run (milkshakes, chili cheese-dogs and fried cheese curds can solve most problems).

The nurse did a wonderful job. Before we started I told her that I know that it's her job, but that I truly appreciated it and her efforts. She seemed moved by the statement, which is doubtless a reflection on how horrible so many of us have been in response to the pandemic.