OK, so Sintra was sort of a bust last year, mainly because all of the amazing historical sites in the nearby environs were closed because of the wildfires. Still, how can simply roaming around Sintra itself leave one unhappy?
OK, I know I've posted this picture before, but, seriously, my mouth is watering. I'm a simple man: I could eat grilled octopus every day for lunch and be quite happy. Oh, and, of course, sangria. We'll be back in Portugal in no time now. This makes me way too happy.
I was talking to my old friend Bill earlier today (in the process pointing out to him that August will be the 45th anniversary of when we became friends) and I told him that I suddenly feel like I'm missing about four decades. It's not that I'm regretting what I didn't do, because I've done more in my lifetime than can be logically explained. Rather, my declining health has led to this almost cosmic feeling of disconnect. When I turned fifty I was very sad and pessimistic about the decade to come. Instead, it was an amazing ten year stretch where I spent so much time with friends, got engaged twice, and travelled all over the globe, and my health was great. Essentially, in my 50s I felt like I was living my 30s. Almost exactly after I turned sixty my health took a turn for the worse, and suddenly I feel now like I expected to feel in my 80s. So, I feel like I'm suddenly missing several decades. So, if you find them could you drop me a line. That said, I'm not giving up and the doctors continue to test away (yes, of course, I would love a third EMG - another MRI, this time with dye - a biopsy of muscle - sure, why not? This sounds great!!). I have a lot more living to do so my body better sort itself out.
Expect a ton of posts about Portugal to pop up within the next month. We're only about five weeks away from our return trip this summer and a combination of Portugal starting to dominate my thoughts (even more) and the need to make sense of the hundreds of pictures from last year's trip will finally inspire me to get organized. One of the great finds from the last trip was the little village of Saojo, tucked high up in the mountains of northern Portugal. It's even more isolated than Lindoso, but there's a lot more going on there. Here's the lovely local delicasy - the Pao-de-Lo de Saojo - a sponge cake.
Life makes me cold. My existence is all damp cellars and lightless catacombs. I'm the disastrous defeat of the last army that sustained the last empire. Yes, I feel as if I were at the end of an ancient ruling civilization. I, who was used to commanding others, am now alone and forsaken. I, who always had advisers to guide me, now have no friend or guide.
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet, "Apocalyptic Feeling" in Anthology
This was a new passage to me, if not necessarily a new emotion. I had not seen this passage because it's buried in the back of Zenith's Anthology section; that is, the passages which didn't make it into his translation of The Book of Disquiet. As we've discussed, the work didn't come together until decades after his death when all the work was found in pieces in a large chest, which is why there is no set, established version of The Book of Disquiet. Essentially, Janet's copy of the book is different than mine, and they are both correct and incorrect at the same time. I don't know if I agree with Pessoa's point here at this point in my life, but there have definitely been times when I did.
Here is a picture of a barn a few miles from our cabin. Yes, life in Vermont. The sign on the barn says 1903, although it's hard to believe that people have been driving under that overhang for the last one-hundred-and-twenty years.
I'm usually not much of a fan of staged photos, but this one was a response to a student suggestion - and I think it turned out pretty well. It was snapped in the Roman theater in Amman, with yours truly playing the harsh emperor (clearly type casting).
Here's a picture of Janet that I snapped on a recent outing. Her dad just passed - more on that, obviously - so she's been feeling low. I felt she needed to get out of the house so we went for a drive. It included kite flying (I'll download the pictures of that disastrous attempt later) and sitting by Caspian Lake. It was a good, and much needed good, day.
