Perhaps That Is How the Iliad Was Written

   If in art there were the office of improver, then I would have a function in life, at least in my life a an artist.

  To begin with somebody else's creation, working only on improving it . . . Perhaps that is how the Iliad was written.

  Anything but to have to struggle with original creation!

  How I envy those who produce novels, those who begin them and write them and finish them! I can imagine novels chapter by chapter, sometimes with the actual phrases of dialogue and the narrative commentary in between, but I'm incapable of committing these dreams of writing to paper . . . . . .

Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet, ch. 291

I have this sinking suspicion that someday I'll be as famous/infamous as Fernando Pessoa for never actually finishing my larger writing projects. In there are probably many reasons for this ignominious reality: 1) I teach in an interdisciplinary programs with a heavy teaching load, none of the courses in my own discipline - and the curriculum is constantly being revised, and 2) I'm a very dedicated teacher who devotes an incredible amount of time to class prep and looking after my students (I suppose this is a subset of point #1, but in other ways it's a separate point - I have several colleagues who are facing the same challenges but also don't particularly give a shit about their students or the quality of their classes), and 3) I work on two many different projects - mainly, I guess, because I find all of them interesting - which means instead of simply finishing the Epics project I'm also tinkering with Ramadan in Winter (my personal reflection on Islam) and a couple creative writing projects, and 4) I'm the laziest person in the world - at least that's what my father repeatedly told me growing up and I suspect he was/is right, and 5) I'm more than a bit of a coward in regards to my writing, and 6) I'm utterly talentless.

Maybe this is why I'm so drawn to Pessoa's The Book of Disquiet: I completely understand  why - and sympathize with - his inability to finish his projects.

Oh, and I completely swiped his reference to the Iliad for this related chapter in the Epics book.