"And we deliver on life a pessimistic judgment which we suppose to be accurate, for we believed that we were taking happiness and beauty into account, whereas in fact we left them out and replaced them by syntheses in which there is not a single atom of either. So it is that a well-read man will at once begin to yawn with boredom when one speaks to him of a new 'good book,' because he imagines a sort of composite of all the good books that he has read, whereas a good book is something special, something unforeseeable, and is made up not of the sum of all previous masterpieces but of something which the most thorough assimilation of every one of them would not enable him to discover, since it exists not in their sum but beyond it. Once he has become acquainted with this new work, the well-read man, however jaded his palate, feels in interest awaken in the reality which it depicts. So, completely unrelated to the models of beauty which I was wont to conjure up in my mind when I was by myself, this handsome girl gave me at once the taste for a certain happiness (the sole form, always different, in which we may acquire a taste for happiness), for a happiness that would be realised by my staying and living there by her side."
Marcel Proust, Within a Budding Grove, pp. 705-706
This is a continuation of the same thread, which I have artificially and clumsily separated, where Proust, on the way to Balbec by train, has stopped at a little mountain station. A young woman emerges to sell coffee and milk to the passengers, and Proust, in a typically Proustian moment, reflects on beauty and happiness.
First off, and unrelated to the narrative, I wonder what it would be like to have an adjective or adverb associated with your name, especially if it happened in your own lifetime? At school we will often say, "yeah, sorry, I Wehmeyered that email," in honor of my great friend Steve's tendency to never actually respond to emails. Or, to Brandenburg something is to jump on at the end of a project, like, for instance, a foreign trip, and enjoy the benefits of someone else's work (which could relate to my dear friend Cyndi Brandenburg, but I guess it could be anyone). And someone, although it could be anyone, although in this case it was obviously me, led the process of transforming their names into different forms of speech. That said, "to Scudderize" or "Scudderian" has long existed meaning, depending upon context, to terrorize students or to pitch a petulant fit. In the real world I suspect it would be amusing for around five minutes, and then annoying after that.
Now, we need to turn our attention to more important subjects, which I'm certainly much less qualified to tackle than my mastery of general tomfoolery. There are so many ways to tackle this segment (which reminds me that I need to go back and finish the first post on this section as well - oh well, at least my grades are handed in so I'll have more time). Upon seeing the young woman Proust thinks, "So, completely unrelated to the models of beauty which I was wont to conjure up in my mind when I was by myself, this handsome girl gave me at once the taste for a certain happiness (the sole form, always different, in which we may acquire a taste of happiness), for a happiness that would be realised by my staying and living there by her side." Yesterday over lunch with my son we discussed this section and the times in life when we've passed through a certain town and met a woman for five minutes and had the same fleeting thought - that I'd be happy if I just never left and stayed here and lived with her (of course, in this imagined scenery it is assumed that she would happily want us to stay - duh). To protect the innocent I will not identify those times when I had a similar thought as I traveled around the world, although in this case the desire to stay is not inspired, at least not entirely, by carnal desires, but rather by an almost ineffable feeling that I was supposed to stop there and that an essential part of that ordained destiny was that we (see, it is clearly a serious relationship because I'm already naturally using the word "we") would be together. That said, there were several instances that jumped to mind. Oh, and this didn't include the times when I was involved, at one level or another, with a woman that would have naturally inspired me to stay, but this is more the five minute conversation or the thirty second exchange of glances that clearly hinted at mythic significance. Naturally, and by that I mean naturally for me, not a normal person, I then defaulted to a consideration of movies where there is (and it has to be present tense because in this case neither the actress, and hopefully me, will ever age) a actress who plays a character that would inspire me to stay, and, most importantly, find that happiness Proust discussed.
God, where to start? I might change my mind later, although I doubt it, but number one would have to be the Jennifer Black character Stella from Local Hero. I could almost also include Marina, played by Jenna Seagrove, although I don't know if I'd actually want to live with a mermaid (even if it did give me time to myself). As with the Peter Riegert character Mac, in a drunken moment negotiating a "trade" with Gordon, I could also be a good Gordon. From the first time I saw that film, which remains one of my all-time top five beloved movies, I imagined that I could easily and happily live with Stella, running the motel, doing a little bit of business, and occasionally waltzing. And I know from Hal Hartley's brilliant film Simple Men that there is only trouble and desire, but I could still imagine myself living with Kate, played by Karen Silas, and running the bar out on Long Island; we could plant trees, discuss exploitation and I might even be convinced to dance occasionally. I definitely have a soft spot for Carrie-Anne Moss as Natalie in Memento, although I suspect the relationship wouldn't have a very long shelf life. I could live with Hannah, as played by Paulette Goddard, in The Great Dictator and she'd probably be on the rebound - although I imagine our life playing out more like the Ghost Breakers.
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