Monday, May 23, 2016

My Year With Proust - Day 149

"My intelligence might have told me the opposite.  But the characteristic feature of the ridiculous age I was going through - awkward indeed but by no means infertile - is that we do not consult our intelligence and that the most trivial attributes of other people seem to us to form an inseparable part of their personality.  In a world thronged with monsters and with gods, we know little peace of mind.  There is hardly a single action we perform in that phrase which we would not give anything, in later life, to be able to annul.  Whereas what we ought to regret is that we no longer possess the spontaneity which made us perform them.  In later life we look at things in a more practical way, in full conformity with the rest of society, but adolescence is the only period in which we learn anything."
Marcel Proust, Within a Budding Grove, pp. 784-785

Proust proposes that "adolescence is the only period in which we learn anything."  I'm not certain that I agree with him, although if it were true it would certainly make me feel better about my choice of a career.  My students, while capable of extraordinary acts of assclownery, are intellectual sponges and they do want to learn, and it's our job to figure out the best way to do that (which is not to treat them like consumers - and customers who are always right - and to acquiesce to every one of their demands).  So I do agree that adolescence is generally the time of life when we learn the absolute most, but I don't think I can go as far as Proust (who I think is essentially just making a point anyway).  I feel like I've lived a life in and of itself since I turned fifty: starting a new life, spending a year in Abu Dhabi, visiting a dozen countries, getting engaged twice (although apparently always a best man and never a groom), continually exploring new ideas in the classroom, working on a couple books, making a life's worth of friends, leading multiple students trips to places like Jordan and Zanzibar and India etc.  More on point, and I would argue more importantly, I think I've learned more in my fifties than in any previous decade,  Doubtless part of this relates to the fact that I think we're always prepared to learn more each succeeding decade simply because we possess context that we didn't have before.  More over, in this case I think it's true because I made a very concerted effort to recreate myself and become an active part of the world, and thus I learned more because I tried to learn more.

New favorite quote: "In a world thronged with monsters and with gods, we know little peace of mind."  I think it relates to the discussion above because the reason why you actually learn something in adolescence, as compared to the more staid and practical world of adulthood, is that is frequented by gods and monsters, that is, a world where the impossible is eminently possible.  If I'm continuing to learn in my fifties it might simply be that I've tried to keep that world alive.  Does this mean that I will know little peace of mind?

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