My Year With Proust - Day 152

   "In the human race, the frequency of the virtues that are identical in us all is not more wonderful than the multiplicity of the defects that are peculiar to each one of us.  Undoubtedly, it is not common sense that is 'the commonest thing in the world'; it is human kindness.  In the most distant, the most desolate corners of the earth, we marvel to see it blossom of its own accord, as in a remote valley a poppy like all the poppies in the rest of the world, which it has never seen as it has never known anything, but the wind that occasionally stirs the folds of its lonely scarlet cloak.  Even if this human kindness, paralyzed by self-interest, is not put into practice, it exists none the less, and whenever there is no selfish motive to restrain it, for example when reading a novel or a newspaper, it will blossom, even in the heart of one who, cold-blooded in real life, has retained a tender heart as a lover of serial romances, and turn towards the weak, the just and the persecuted.  But the variety of our defects if no less remarkable than the similarity of our virtues."

Marcel Proust, Within a Budding Grove, p. 796

"Undoubtedly, it is not common sense that is 'the commonest thing in the world': it is human kindness." This is a statement that one would expect to find coming from Dickens than Proust, but one that I agree with wholeheartedly.  The concept of kindness is championed so readily in religions that we almost overlook it.  In one of my favorite Hadith the Prophet pointed out that every act of kindness is charity, and charity is one of the Five Pillars.  And every religion has a similar message, but because it is repeated so consistently we don't listen that attentively or we're suspicious (why are you telling me this? is it because we're actually not kind creatures by nature?  why are you so mean?).  Rather, I do think we routinely find it in the "most desolate corners of the world."  I have been treated with such kindness by so many people all around the world that it is humbling.  I was initially going to give several examples (and I still might) but there were so many that I didn't know where to start.  One of the reasons why I've experienced so many acts of kindness is, oddly, because I've come to believe that I'm a kind person.  I would have never believed it, and been somewhat horrified at the "accusation" but so many of my friends and students have noted it over the years that they've half-convinced me that they're correct.  My students, especially, see beyond the performance piece of Scudder as the Scourge of God and always end of writing things on their evaluations like, "the first week I thought you were the most obnoxious person I had ever met and I alternately hated and feared you, but then I realized that you're a really nice guy who would do anything to help me."  Now, of course, I'll get my revenge against any student who makes a comment like that, especially if they repeat it, but there is actually a lot of truth in it (as much as it kills me to admit it).  I know this sounds an awful lot like teenage girl wall poster philosophy, but I do think that most of the problems of the world would be reduced/eliminated if we could all treat each other with more basic kindness.  It's not that much of a reach because I do think it is our default setting, and one that somewhere along the way we are "taught" to overcome.