Saturday, June 8, 2019

What It Means - Day 82

" . . . truly We created man in travail."
Quran 90:4

This is a verse drawn from surah 90, usually referred to as "The Land." As Nasr explains, most see it as a "reference to the hardships of this world: from birth, to weaning, to earning a living, to growing old, to facing death, for in life there is naught but toil and trial." And as I grow older, still older, I can definitely see this. I was just at the doctor's yesterday discussing the osteo-arthritis in my left leg, which now joins the osteo-arthritis in my hip, and my bad back, and my hernia, and my profound sleep apnea; so I've gone from planning my summers based on foreign travel to planning procedures: hernia in 2019, hip replacement in 2020, knee replacement in 2021. Groan. Still, in the great scheme of things, I will not complain. Too many of my friends, some younger than me, have shuffled off this moral coil.

Having said all that, I'm actually mainly interested in discussing something else. At our Eid picnic on Tuesday I was talking to a friend of mine who is another convert. In a mosque full of folks raised in the faith I suppose it's natural that two converts would be drawn to each other. That said, he's a great guy and I suspect I'd be his friend no matter what. Anyway, he was recounting the story of when he converted and a Muslim friend of his told him that he'd be tested, and in his retelling of the story he followed it up by pointing out that he was immediately laid off and thus truly faced a much rougher road of trials. While I admired his courage and determination, I also found myself reflecting upon the fact that I simply don't believe it (not his courage and determination, which are undeniable). Instead, I don't believe that God singles us out for extra testing. As I've discussed previously, one of the big dangers in anthropomorphizing God (and this is an even bigger problem for the Christians because of the tendency to represent God in human form) is that you naturally assign human virtues or demerits to the divine. Rather, we are tested simply because we are born free (or at least with the freedom to choose within a number of potential paths; more on that later). If we're not free to choose God then the decision of faith means nothing because, well, there is no decision.  That freedom also means that we might not choose God, naturally. Moreover, at least to me, that freedom also means that we can fall victim to the natural uncertainty of the human condition. Being human is a precarious, unpredictable and oftentimes dangerous existence, but it is the price that one pays for freedom. So when someone asks: why did God allow this horrible thing to happen?, I guess it is the same answer as: why did God allow this wonderful thing to happen? or: why did God allow this perfectly ordinary and event-free Wednesday morning to happen?

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