Cluster Headaches and Cluster Other Descriptors

Lately I've been having a run of cluster headaches. Luckily, I have reasonably mild versions of the condition which is sometimes described as a "suicide headache" (because of the intensity of the pain). Here's a lovely little artistic rendering of one by J.D. Fletcher. What is odd about this latest rash of cluster headaches is that I haven't had them in something like fifteen years, and I remember a dreadful stretch back in Atlanta when they first manifested themselves. Apparently the disappearnce or reappearance of them, sometimes for months or even years, is pretty typical. I have many of the common features, which are very similar to a migraine: blurry vision, hypersensitivity to light, an unset stomach (it almost feels like a bad flu is coming on in a rush - in fact, with the initial reappearnce a couple months back I thought it was the flu) - and, for good measure, a feeling much like a tamping rod being driven through the back of your left eye. Luckily, as I said, I have pretty mild symptoms - and I can't imagine what the bad ones are like. I've had four in the last couple months, and why they have suddenly returned is a mystery. I've been dealing with a lot of stress and uncertainty lately, but that's hardly the first time I've dealt with that. The one that came to plague me on Tuesday roared up like a tsunami. I was sitting working on my computer right before a meeting with my vision suddenly went blurry - almost as if an eye doctor had dropped down a couple ill-considered lenses. I stumbled my way down to the other campus for my meeting, more by memory than actual navigation, and bruted my way through the meeting (although a couple people later asked me what the hell was going on, so I apparently didn't pull it off that well) before heading home to the quiet and darkness of my apartment.

Now, to make the matters worse, I discovered that the mask for my CPAP machine was broken. As I'm sure I have recounted, I have what my sleep doctor one time described as profound sleep apnea (he told me this after explaining that they recommend treatment for anyone whose throat closes 5 times in an hour during sleep, before telling me that mine closes 80 times in an hour). So, not having the mask, and thus the use of the machine, is not much of an option. It's not as if I'm going to die or anything, but I would snore so loudly that you can hear me in the next Emirate, and I would not get much sleep - and more importantly, not nearly enough oxygen to my brain and other organs. Now there was the conundrum. I called the company that provides my CPAP machine and they agreed to send on replacements, although that also meant talking to CIGNA, who will, doubtless, deny the claim even though the machine keeps me healthy and I, allegedly, automatically qualify for replacements parts every six months (as we can all agree, CIGNA is of the devil). However, the company refused to ship the equipment overseas (even though I told them I would pay for it), because, hey, rules are rules and the health of the patient is not their concern (and this, of course, led to an appearance of the infamous Scudder temper, but we'll leave that for the courts to work out). This meant that I had to have it shipped to a friend at Champlain, who will then attempt to overnight it over here to Abu Dhabi, where it may or may not arrive. OK, first part of the chore accomplished, but that still didn't help me now. The obvious answer: super glue! But where to find it? I eased my way down to my car and made my way to Spinney's, the closest market to where I live. They didn't have super glue, or, for that matter, any type of glue. I asked the lady at the counter if they had glue, and then she repeated the question to another guy, who reaffirmed that they had no glue. I asked, "any suggestions?" His response, "for where to get glue?" My response, "no, dumbass, for a dependable online dating service - of course for where to get glue!" [remember, I was in pain and therefore not my usual convivial self] Suddenly he lost his interest in helping me find glue. However, another guy in the queue chimed in and said, "a gas station or the airport - the only places in the UAE to get glue." Now this didn't really make much sense, but I was in too much pain to consider the logic. At that point I got back in my car and went in search of a gas station. Luckily, before I made it to the gas station, I passed by Al Raha Mall and pulled in there. My first stop was at a pharmacy, which was a failure (pharmacies in the UAE are almost entirely reserved for medical supplies or drugs), but the nice lady suggested I try Lu Lu's, which is a chain supermarket - and which was right across the mall. Luckily, they had super glue (although they were not at a gas station or the airport, so it may have been black market super glue) and I was able to eventually repair my mask and I haven't died yet (or maybe the smell of the super glue is just making me think I'm alive). The only issues that marred the successful super glue venture were 1) eating at the mall - it was late and I realized I hadn't eaten anything since lunch so I went up to the food court and had a "burger" at Burger Hut, whose motto, I believe, is "as viewed from a distance, with your eyes squinting, we might be Burger King," and 2) getting back from Al Raha Mall - because of the complexity of highway construction in Abu Dhabi, once you leave Al Raha Mall you have to travel eight kilometers one way on the access road (or the slip road, as our British friends would say) before you can turn around to head back where you started). Still, all things considered, it was a successful, although just thinking back to it is giving me a headache.