Monday, October 7, 2019

What It Means - Day 203

"Internal causes pose a more serious problem. One's worldly concerns may be many and varied, so that the mind does not dwell on a single subject but keeps flying from one direction to another. Tolower the eyes is then of no avail, for plenty of distractions have already got inside. The way to deal with this is to make a deliberate effort to comprehend the meaning of the words one is reciting in the Prayer, concentrating on this to the exclusion of everything else. It is helpful to prepare for this before the initial consecration, by reminding oneself of the Hereafter and that one is standing in communion in the awesome presence of God, Glorified is He, and under His scrutiny. Before consecration for Prayer, one should empty the heart of all its cares, leaving oneself free of potential distractions."
Abu Hamid al-Ghazali, Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship

Yes, and here's even more from al-Ghazali. As you might guess I'm truly enjoying working my way through his Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship. And again, for a person who doesn't take his faith as seriously as he might/should, I seem to spend a lot of time studying it. Now, how do I go about spending more time living it? I don't know if al-Ghazali has answered my questions, but then I don't know if the Quran or the ahadith have necessarily cleanly answered my questions, but all three have given me more tools to use in answering questions. al-Ghazali proposes, "Before consecration for Prayer, one should empty the heart of all its cares, leaving oneself free to potential distractions." We sometimes think that prayer is what will help us "empty the heart of all its cares," but al-Ghazali seems to be saying that we need to do that before we ever prostrate. I was never truly a Christian, but at least I grew up in the Christian tradition. I wonder if the perception that prayer will "empty the heart of all its cares" is reactive as compared to proactive? If you believe that someone died for your sins would you be more likely to approach prayer as an opportunity to reactively hand over your cares and sins to a greater power? In Islam we believe that we are totally responsible for our sins. In that sense does it mean that we need to proactively "empty the heart" before we start? Granted, al-Ghazali might simply be lumping cares together with distractions, as the cares can lead to the distractions. This morning I found myself fretting over my dental appointment this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon's break repair for my car and thus it was more difficult to reach that quiet meditative place where prayer is most possible. However, I still assumed that in the end I adhered to the belief that I had to clear my mind before prayer (which, naturally, I did clumsily and incompletely). It didn't occur to me that I would jump into prayer and hand these problems off to God. Now, the obvious question is: why shouldn't I? What is wrong with prostrating and saying to God, "this has all gone terribly awry, I need you to help me fix this"? Do I not do this because I think of it as something that Muslims don't do or because I personally have trouble asking for help? And if it's vanity in my real life that keeps me from asking my friends and loved ones for help, is it also vanity that prevents me from asking God for help? Wow, looking back over this morning's writing I've left behind a ton of question marks. Oh well, let's keep pushing forward, and maybe the question marks will eventually begin to turn into definitive exclamation marks.


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